As a woman, you should never—ever—be 100% financially reliant on a man. If you don’t remember anything else from this article, remember this part. Never, never, never become completely financially dependent on a man, because when that happens, believe it or not, you have already lost your power in that marriage.
Why Financial Independence Equals Personal Power
When you’re financially dependent on a man, it takes away your power. You may feel empowered because, well, “I’m the house manager” or whatever makes you feel better, but that’s not even a real title, honestly. You may feel like, “Oh yeah, I’m the one who runs the household,” but if you don’t have the purse strings, you don’t have any power in that house. That man will always know in the back of his head that you’re financially dependent on him. And because he knows you can’t do anything regarding money without him, if he’s not a good man, he’s not going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
The Reality of Household Management vs. Income Generation
Yes, being a stay-at-home mom is a lot of work—I understand that. But when a man comes home and he knows that all you’ve been doing is staying at home, he doesn’t understand that the household stuff is actual work. All he knows is that you’re not bringing in a paycheck and he is, so he’s going to expect you to do a lot more because “you’ve been home all day.”
And here’s another thing: you don’t want to be in a situation where your life is in danger and you have to leave, but you feel stuck because you don’t have money and you can’t go anywhere. There are too many women out here who are trapped in miserable relationships because their men make all the money, and if they leave, they have nowhere to go.
Reason #1: Freedom and Safety in Dangerous Situations
Having your own money gives you freedom and peace of mind. If a man were to slap you today or to do something crazy, you don’t have to be like oh my God I want to leave but where am I going to go, I don’t have money, I can’t start all over on my own, I don’t know. If you have your own money you can get up and you can leave because you don’t depend on him for your livelihood and if things don’t work out you will be able to survive on your own. There are too many women out here, too many, you know where you know they talk about the crazy things that happen in their relationship and it’s because I have no money and they have nowhere to go and they don’t have any valuable professional skills to even get a good job that can support them because they’ve been out of the job field for so long. Never be 100% financially dependent on a man.
Three Critical Reasons to Maintain Your Financial Independence
Why do you think that whenever the need arises for a partner in the relationship to stay at home the men will always want the women to stay at home? If it’s such an important thing and it needs to be done and it’s important, why can’t the man stay at home and be a stay-at-home dad, why the wife go and work? Nowadays women can bring as much money as men do. The reason why a man would never stay at home is because he loses his power, he knows that whoever has the purse strings holds the power. Get your own money, get your own coins because you have more freedom and you have more peace of mind when you have your own money and if something crazy happens you can dip if you want to.
Reason #2: Protection Against Unexpected Relationship Changes
If your partner decides to leave you today what are you going to do? Your partner can get up and decide that he don’t want to be with you. Remember this movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman, the Madea movie? This woman, 16 years she lived with this man, built him up, help him to build up his career, took care of the household, all that kind of stuff because women think that doing all this is what we are supposed to be doing as a wife. And when you do this for a man, you build him up, you put your life on hold for a man thinking that he’s going to appreciate you.
Let me tell you, many times when the man gets to the point where he wants to be, he leaves the woman who helped him get him there and get another woman. You know why? When he sees you it reminds him of where he’s coming from, that broke guy. It’s supposed to be a positive thing to have a woman by herself who stood by you through thick and thin but the reality is not what we see. A lot of times this woman will stick by this man helping build up his career, help him build up his goals, everything that he wants to do, and then when they get to where they’re going he dumped that woman and actually take the type of woman that they actually wanted to be with in the first place.
So you don’t want to be financially reliant on a man for years and years and years. You’re not making your own money, you don’t have your own savings, one day he gets up and he leaves, what are you gonna do? That movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman, her husband threw her out of the house. There’s no easy way to say this, it’s over. Oh no no put me out of the house? Did you think that she was gonna wake up one day and think that her man you know was gonna do that to her? She had nowhere to go. She had to go back to the hood and live with her grandma. She had to get, she was one of those bougie rich women because she had a rich husband and now she went from that bougie girl to working at like one of those McDonald’s type restaurants because she had no valuable professional skills. She had to start over.
So in situations like that if the man decides he wants a divorce or he wants to leave you what are you gonna do? And because he’s the one making the money he can hire a good lawyer to protect all his assets. You’re not making no money so I mean the type of lawyer you’re gonna get is, I mean we don’t, I don’t know. You always have to protect yourself because yeah your husband is wonderful and he’s the best guy in the world and he would never do that to me, but life has a way of changing people. He’s an angel now, you don’t know what’s going to happen five years from now that he’s gonna become a devil, you don’t know. People change, people always change. If you get up and he leads you there goes all your money, there goes your house, there goes your livelihood, you’re gonna have to start over.
Reason #3: Preparing for Life’s Unpredictable Circumstances
Number three which is kind of connected to number two, you may have a good man and he will never leave you in a million years and he’ll stand by you through whatever you know, but we don’t live in a perfect world. What happens if he gets fired or he gets into a horrible accident and he’s disabled and he can no longer work, or worse he dies and he was a sole breadwinner of the family? It’s going to be difficult. You will not be able to live the same type of life that you used to have because number one you have not worked in how many years? The job that you’re going to get is going to be minimum wage job.
No, employers are not going to look at that huge gap on your resume and go you know what let’s just pick up from where you left off, no. Why should they hire you when they’re younger fresher like you know Millennials gen Z’s that are coming up, they have better skills than you do and they’ve been in the workforce while you’re at home playing Nanny to your children and house manager. But had you been working and you had some money coming in and you have been in a career or the job field for years and you’ve progressed, you had promotions and salary increases and stuff like that and you have good money coming in, you will not feel the weight or the burden as much.
We should not live our lives like naive people. Women who do this they live with their head in the clouds. I’m sorry, in a perfect world yes your man is making all the money, you stay home with the babies, you run the household blah blah blah, but life doesn’t always work like that. That man can wake up one day and say he don’t want to be with you no more or he can lose that job. Life has so many curved balls and we always need to be ready and be prepared for it.
Breaking Free from Outdated Gender Roles
Why is it, it’s always women who feel the need to give up you know your whole life for a man? You don’t see men sacrifice in relationships the way that women do. I feel like women almost become stupid in relationships because you will never see a man get married and give up his nice career to stay at home and be with the children or the babies or to run the household. And a lot of women have been brainwashed to believe that women are nurturers, we feel better when we are… no no no. You can nurture and do all the other crap and still have a thriving career and have a job.
The Modern Woman Can Do It All
My mom, my mom is my hero. My mom has seven children, one two three four five six seven, okay? My mom never at one point was like, there’s a lot of kids, let me just quit my job and just stay at home because we’re gonna watch these kids. No, we had nannies. My mom had a full-time job and my mom had several side hustles. My mom was running like two three businesses with seven children and a full-time job. It’s from my mother that I learned that a woman is not just supposed to be just all these cliche things that lazy women think that that’s what womanhood is about, just stay home and think of their children.
The Proverbs 31 Woman: A Businesswoman, Not Just a Homemaker
We always quote the Proverbs 31 Woman. There’s nowhere there where it just said that all her job is to you know take care of her household. That woman had businesses, she made money moves. In this generation of women empowerment, there are some women who still have this backward mentality that you should give up your career for a man. Are you mad? It’s harsh for me to say but you must be mad in this day and age where women are thriving, so many opportunities, and you want to just be someone’s wife? Please, you were made for more, you were created for more.
People Who Rely on You Financially Are Called Dependents
Never be financially dependent on a man, never in your life be financially dependent on a man. It sounds cute and it sounds empowering and it sounds sweet, but when reality hits you and you’re in that place where you need your money and you cannot for some reason get it from your husband, that’s when you realize that it was stupid of you to take all your eggs and put it in this basket and hope that he’s gonna do right by you one day. Don’t quit your job, work that job and bring money in. You get more respect from your man, you won’t feel trapped, you won’t feel like a child asking for money from their dad because you got your own money.
Gone are the days where all the woman’s job was to be a wife and mother, okay? You’re a strong woman, you’re a boss woman, you can do it all. So sis, get up and do it. If you found this article helpful, share it with your friends who need to hear this message.
FAQs: Financial Independence & Relationships
Q1. Is it bad to be financially dependent?
Being financially dependent can be risky because it limits your freedom and control. It often creates imbalance or power issues in a relationship.
Q2. Are women financially dependent on men?
Traditionally, many women were financially dependent on men, but today more women earn and manage their own finances, gaining equality and confidence.
Q3. What does it mean if someone is financially dependent on you?
If someone is financially dependent on you, it means they rely on your income for basic needs or lifestyle, making you responsible for their financial well-being.
Q4. What is a financial red flag in a relationship?
A financial red flag appears when one partner hides spending, lies about money, or avoids budgeting — all of which break trust and cause conflicts.
Q5. What is the 3 6 9 rule in relationships?
The 3-6-9 rule means assessing your relationship at 3, 6, and 9 months — checking for connection, compatibility, and long-term potential as it grows.
Q6. Is being dependent toxic?
Yes, being overly dependent can be toxic because it creates control, emotional strain, or loss of self-identity. Healthy relationships need balance.
Q7. Should women be financially independent?
Yes, women should be financially independent to maintain self-respect, make free choices, and stay secure if circumstances or relationships change.
Q8. What is the 3 3 3 rule in marriage?
The 3-3-3 rule suggests couples spend 3 hours together weekly, take a 3-day trip every 3 months, and a longer getaway every 3 years to strengthen connection.
Q9. What are most females attracted to?
Most females are attracted to confidence, emotional maturity, ambition, and stability — traits that show reliability and genuine partnership.
